Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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