I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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