i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
