I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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