This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
