were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
