i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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