Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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