the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
