she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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