And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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