Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
my liver is dry heaving
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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