i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
