CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it's like iHOP with fire
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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