he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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