that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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