Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
