Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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