I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
