I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
