i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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