Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
