the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
