Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
