it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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