I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
