I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
