She's JV to your varsity
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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