dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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