i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Randomize
