Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
