Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
