we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
