Can Purell be used as lube?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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