i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
