Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
