Please, let me fuck your mom
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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