Reggie can tackle my bush.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
