I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
