i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
