So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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