There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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