I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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