that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
