Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
