Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Be still, my beating vagina.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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