Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
