Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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