Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
