I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
